-.-

meh...
post.... because I can goddammit.



see ya.

Halloween

Bah... every year I grow more apathetic towards this holiday. Which is really sad, because it's my all-time favorite.
I wanted to be on Gaia for it but, sadly, I have been grounded until Nov. 14. *withdrawl induced twitch*
And of course all of the frelling updates get put on when I'm not there.... *seethe*

Ah well... mebbe next year... hell yeah, I'll still be on Gaia next year. Happy Halloween (to all three people who read this -.-)

Fuck fuck fuckety fuck

Wheeeeeeeee.... my sanity is circling the goddamn drain ><
Friends just randomly dropping off the face of the planet, grades not good enough for my parents, school is inducing one panic-attack after another, and what can I do about it?
Abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING.
Society was not based on the mental health of its occupants.
I need tea...

Angst angst angst

Bah, I've just got to get this out godammit.
I feel so fucking helpless. Some of the best friends I've had have just stopped talking to me and I don't know how to reach them or even if I should try to reach them.
It's so un-fucking-fair. I'm not upset with them, I'm not upset with any one person except perhaps myself, I just want my friends back!!
I don't even know what I did to make them leave like this!!! If I knew I'd take it back in a heartbeat, I ask them to forgive me a hundred times over if they'd just talk to me again!
I know I sound pathetic, but that's just how I feel! I was happy hanging out with them and now I'm miserable with them gone.
And I know they're not coming back.
It's a horrible thing that I've just wanted to ignore for so long but it's just the goddamn fucking truth and I can't pretend it's not anymore!!
It sucks. I can't stand it. Why did everything have to turn out so bad?

**EDIT**
OMFG. About two minutes after I posted this one of my friends magically appeared.

So rediculously pathetic

Yeah.... that's me right now. Whoopee.... -.-

Er....

Uh... excuse the angsty post below... I blame PMS. ^^;

.....

Haven't written in this for a while.....

Anyways... I just kinda had one of those... moments of reflection I guess you could call it.
And I cried...
I never cry... not really... I'll say I cry when I'm really upset... but this was probably the first time I've actually cried for.... I don't know..... I long time....

Is anything really supposed to hurt this much? For this long? Why? How come I finally get what I want only to find it a horrible, twisted version of what I asked for?
Does everyone have to go through this? Am I just being naive and ignorant.... again?

I know, I know.... long, angsty post.... but I don't want to cry anymore. I'd rather write this down than just keep crying...

If anyone reads this, and mebbe feels like talking to me about it... I'd really appreciate it....

If not..... C'est la Vie I suppose....